A I D I A

My Relationship to BL

What is BL? BL is the large and amorphous genre of manga that depicts boys in homosexual, homosocial, or homoromantic narratives.

But, why am I and feral fujoshi's (rotten fans of BL) ravenously consuming boys kissing? I can’t speak for all fans of BL but I’d like to share a bit about my experiences and ideas that keep me voraciously viewing BL.

Well, I grew up as a gay boy in the southeastern United States. If you are not from the Untied States or don't know too much about the South, well we have a long history of white, often violent, Christian conservatism in the region. This led to me seeing little to no representation of my sexuality in the media other than Sam Smith. Now, Sam Smith is doing different stuff now but back in 2016 they were basically making music that took straight relationship dynamics and inserted another man into them, basically white bread homonormativity (aka insert two men into a straight relationship).

But then... I was in a manga section of a local bookstore and I saw a shirtless masculine figure with radiant green eyes staring at me. Not only is he staring, he has fangs and is drawing blood from a person not standing in the frame. This image is arresting. As a gay teen who was finding their fantasies represented in the likes of old art history books of Italian Renaissance art, I was over the moon to see something that embodied my sexual fantasies, but more importantly, abundantly fleshed them out in the panels of the manga. I shouldn't just limit this conversation to sexual fantasies or really these sexual fantasies are only a part of the charm of BL. There is a splendor to the narratives and characters that give the sexual escapades page-turning power.

Eh, so let's cut to the chase, why do I make my website basically revolve around BL and why do I choose to study it in my academic ventures as a Master's student in art history? Well, because I love it. I also am convinced (and am told by the authors and felt by the characters on the pages) that they love me. I feel nurtured within these creative works. I also feel represented, not literally or objectively, but I feel my body, sexuality, and identity ignited with creative potential. BL is predominantly made in Japan by straight women for a dominant consuming audience of straight women. This means these women have never had sexual experiences or experiences of a Southern, white gay man. But, their representations signify to me and many others as fantastical representations of gay men. These women's continued commitment of thousands of hours to BL and rendering gay relationships means they render many aspects of gay relationships in ways that are not literally possible. They fantasize and extrapolate aspects of being gay and having gay sex. My favorite example: self-lubing assholes. Let me tell you, in gay sex, use lube. But, what I love about BL is it's not reality, and it's not interested in depicting real people. It is an abounding realm of fantasy centered around fantastical gay relationships.

BL provided and provides me with a vast realm of possibility to draw from to keep going. I use BL as an essential part of maintaining hope that things can be different than they are now. I use it to keep believing that these acts of oppression towards non normative gender performance, gays, and minoritarian groups of the South will change and can change, to think that the place that I grew up that I think is beautiful with beautiful people in it can nurture the fantasies of all.

I hope and plan to keep writing stuff about BL and I thought this was a good place to start. stay tuned…

Created: 8/28/2023